Strange addiction

I feel like paralyzed, cant move , cant breath

Enveloping a weight against my chest

Some people can not seem to leave in peace

Ask me.. I am at my best

I seek pleasure in the pain

And it satisfies me

I see agony in this pain

And it mystifies me

Some wear their wounds with dignity

Some treasure them like a jewel

Some shun them as if they never existed

And some disguise so well; you just cant tell

They make love to their pain in seclusions

They cherish their wounds like precious gem

They wont give up their addiction

It is best to just leave them

I too, seek pleasure in the pain

And it enchants me

And there is a agony in this pain

And how it haunts me

I feel lost in this pain

I just cant find my way

Unknown, unaware in this unknown arena

Where the fog is always grey

Blinded by the mist, few words unfold

Pain spoken through my poems, still so much untold

I am in a steady relationship with my pen and pain

I keep on reaching out, and its there to hold

The reliance on this pain

It overwhelms me

The addiction of this pain

It alarms me

I have already jumped ahead

I cant dare to look backward

I am standing on a cliff

I cant move forward

Instead of sitting and pretending

Must I accept its here to stay

Wounds outside, or scars concealed

Hurt it will, either ways

I am chanting my whimpers

Softly embracing theses draggers

I am falling, dispersing dust by dust

Consumed by this drug, I swagger

The pleasure of this pain

It touch and it sooths me

The arrogance of this pain

It strike and it shatters me

Engrossed in this pain

I make no effort to capsize me

Strange ! this pain pulsate in my being

And yet how it desensitize me

I am addicted to this pleasure

Give me all yours, i plead i borrow

I found my sanity once i am high in agony

Come grace me with your woes

And let me dance in ecstasy

Coz your pain is my addiction, my sorrow