Heaven in her pocket

 Do you think she is a manic-depressive?

It’s not about winning; she isn’t obsessive

She is not the pawn that takes the queen

She lost coz she wanted to..

Though her winning streaks were massive

She gave up and fall frail

Not asking to be protected

She was always her own guard

Drawing the sketches from baseless wishes

Scooping the dreams from hollow illusion

Arguments that she chose to loose

Coerced with already lost assertions

All she wanted was a small heaven in her pocket

A pocket too small to contain actualities

Yet a pocket too large to consume her dreams

All those addictions

Takes her back to space when,

Sober was the time when she got wasted

Wasted was the time when she gained sanity

Lost was the time she found herself

And findings led to perplexities

Unnecessary provocations

It was easy to lie when her soul was the truest

It was easy to corrupt when her thought were the purest

Tangled road, and her invasions

How hard. How easy. How irrational

A small pocket full of desideratum

A small pocket spent with requests

Falsity rained heavy when she removes the veil

She twitches and blinked hard to see the realm

How many ghosts has she soiled?

How many angels has she tainted?

Compulsively trying to peel spirits off skin

How many times her trials fainted?

Actions irrelevant as they don’t ease anyone

Trying hard to make castles of sand

Only to be ripped apart and swallowed by merciless sea

she rush after the waves, chased her dispersed dream

And , just dust lands in her hand, that she see

But she smiles, shrugs carelessly and heads for worst

Always knew it was coming

She carried her tattered dreams tightly clasped to her chest

She carried the wet sheet smeared by tears

She carried the mask that was torn apart

She carried the melting drops of frozen pretence

They kept calling her, her hallucinations

But she was determined not to look back this time

Cold ,firm ,thoughtless

No more victims to fall prey to her disorder

No more display of compulsive lineage

She needs to reach the cliff

She failed coz she wanted to

This time she wants something else

She will win to loose her hallucinations

She has fallen from the darkest of the skies

She woke up before she could reach the light

Nothing else can mar her journey now

Nothing can add burns to the plight

With a steady pace she is chasing life

The heaven in her pocket too small to shelter desires

The desires too high beyond her reach

There are no miracles in this world

For every dream there is a price to pay

Sun rises,she gather her vision

Trying to paint illusions from scratch

Drifting afar with petitions astray

Chasing fickle spec of happiness

But the darkness of the night covers soon

The sun sets, she sees…

Her world ending every day