Conniving dices

 

 Stuck amidst an enchanting game

Every move casting a perfect frame

Entangled in the parody of gushing pain

I persistently start with the game, yet again

Few more dices thrown

Two steps turned aside

And so I stand on this block

Isolation and frozen silence

I can only blame my insanity

To let slip the thoughts untamed

Only if I could have blocked the air

Only if I could curb the restless stirring

Only if the lips were frozen numb to utter a word

Only if I wasn’t destined to burn in my own pyre

This constant confusion, this face-off with faults

Could it be that I am inveterate anomic?

Could it be that I am habituated

Could it be that I love to fight a battle, already lost

Words have lost their voice

Silence is turning too loud

I tried to be immaculate in this game

Yet I hit the zero again…

Sitting, staring blank at these conniving dices

Reluctant to pursue this game

Stop me, just stop me from moving ahead

But the game goes on…

I am being nudged, to throw the dice again

There I go..

Two steps behind in the past

A fog of illusion beyond sanity

A spread of happiness beyond sorrow

Holding on to the edges of slipping smiles

Gripping today, oblivion of tomorrow

No margin for reasoning

No fencing to those dreams

So trapped in those delusions

Could not hear the reality scream

Only if I would have turned away

Only if would have hidden my tears

Only if I would have raised my walls

Only if I would have masked my fears

Failed attempt to perfect the act

Failed attempt to resurrect

So desperate was the urge to end the game

But.. yet I hit the zero again…

No second to waste, throw the dice

Two steps back in the castle of ice

Where burning pain is so intense that it turns numb

Slippery cold emotions,they skid,they succumb

Tenuous are the lanes, and directions gone astray

 Baffled ,wide eyed I stare in the darkness

Lost in this maze,trying to find my way

My soul is crashing down amidst commotions

Hopes are vanishing; prospects are fading away

Up above is the galaxy of reverie dreams

Yet shadows are dark, spread across the alley

Reflections of past yank me back

Trembling future wont let me step out

How many more dices do I need to throw?

When are we drawing the curtains to the show?

I am wincing with excruciating pain now

Every new move seems to pose yet another blow

Enough of this game, enough with the dice

I have lost it already, been battered hard

Nothing makes sense , nothing is sane

Me and my tears ,burning with pain

I just don’t want to play any more

Why to crush my soul?

Why to rake my brain?

When I know, I am born to loose

I know.. very proudly I will hit the zero again.