What is your definition of beauty??

The question was asked to me, "What is beauty?" . The concept of Beauty has changed a lot for me through the years. Beauty isn't just the "eye candy" on my side. And It isn't the "fake and bake" nails, hair, brands... It isn't the diva or a stud on glossy cover of a magazine.. it isn't finest of the resorts at finest of the exotic places...It isn't the fancy must have condo.... It isn't the most expensive gadgets you play with, the whole day...

Beauty to me is...

A power dressed man kneeling down on a dusty trail to pacify a baby...

A friend with a pout just to make me smile..

A dream which makes me smile even whilst asleep..

Someone's genuine heartfelt smile.. 
 My father hugging me for no reason...

Father-daughter dance on a stupid ever track and at weirdest ever place.. 

Mother and son dancing with sweetest broadest grin....

Me dancing and jumping with glee like an infant..

Unconditional love....

Giving selflessly without any expectation of something in return..

Friends sitting on a bench oblivion of ice cream smears on their faces..

An online blink with a message you've been waiting for ...

Nature all around me .. those rain kissed trees

My pictures with my mom..

Few saved conversations.... few archives..

Hearing a song that moves me to tears reminding me of memories of mom, friend and few more..

Having family and friends their for me....

Parents sacrificing their important meetings for their child...

Unspoken feelings felt by your best friend and being emitted through their eyes...

Being pacified by people I love when I go angry....

Unspoken words and knowing what is being said...
Unexpressed feelings heard felt and reciprocated...
A hand held out even before i stumble..

Standing up for what I believe in..

Giving .. surrendering my self to people I confide in..

Listening and believing when someone says in earnest ever tone.."you are a beautiful person"

Gift of love and acceptance...

And walking with a contented smile even when pain beyond my endurance hits me.....

Beauty for me is... When I smile through my heart and soul!!!

I am on a constant search for these things...half achieved.. half midway... half yet to find!!!
 These are the things that hold beauty for me...

What's your definition of beautiful??

Whats your definition

I was asked the strangest question . “Introduce yourself and give us your definition of connection and happiness” I’m assuming I was asked because people take me as an emotional fool, but who knows…  Anyways. I could have given them the most simple answer… My friends are the definition of connection and happiness in my life.  An inevitable chord that holds me together.. The picture-play of memories that reel in over and again,making me smile and cry at the same time..But, they wouldn’t have understood that. So, along with everyone else who stated that true connection, obviously, was unconditional, I spouted off the best thing that I could come up with. Blissful connection is this feeling you get when you look at someone and you just know that you can go beyond your limits just to see them smile. you just can hear them even before they could call out your name. You stretch out your hand even before they could stumble.Dignity,ego, pride nothing matters when that person is in picture.There are many different kinds of loves, from loving your dog, to your family, to your best friends, to your special friend. But, there’s something distinctively different about few people, it’s like the world stops for a minute when you look at them. Its like you count minutes to seconds just to hear their voice.No matter how MAD they make you, you want to kick and hold them all at the same time. No matter how long you go without seeing them, it’s obvious that it’s there. Last week was the time other than those awkward run of a mill kinda situation,  in that I got to see my definition of connection… We haven’t been in touch lately.. amidst chaotic life where everyone is busy proving his/her metal we were drifting apart, well! apparently. But There was just something there.. deep down. I walked into that area, I saw my friend  and my heart went into my throat. How I stopped myself, I have no idea. I managed to keep most my feelings to minimal, Lemme tell you, that is hard. We laughed and had fun. But, some things never change. I still got worried about the smallest things that were apparently bothering my friend. I still tried acting as a shield .They told me that I am having anxiety issues and may be I think a lot hence my array of impulsive acts... But I just wanted to wrap myself around my friend's  worries and peel them off..just wanted to say that look everything would be okay. Just know, no matter where we are, how we are, I am there for you.and in that spur of a moment I got even more convinced, my definition of connection and happiness always will be my friends, even though we may not be together... Or even though things might not be same anymore.....

So in nutshell i can say that i have realized it yet again that....

 My definition of connections is when I feel that urge to reach out even though i might be limping...  

And my definition of happiness is what I feel, that flutter...that rush... when I see my friends smile.....

Whats your definition ???

Girl that scribbles.....

Try knowing that girl who scribble
Try listening as she rarely speaks

Lend her your dreams for a day;

And she will write you a masterpiece.

Try understanding the girl that scribble

She who is pronounced a rigid soul

Tell her you still abide by faith and trust

And that we can always get up if we fall

Embrace this girl that scribble

She who shivers in the darkness of fear

Hide her in a protected corner sometime

Show her that people still do care

Talk with the girl that scribbles

Force her to express what she feels inside

She might charm you with her innocence

She might keep her masks aside

Walk with the girl that writes,

Give her, unending long roads to glory

Give her the confidence of your company

And you might get to know her inside story

Hear out this girl who scribbles

Show her that the world is not of stone

Let her show you her vulnerability

And make you feel it in every bone.

Try bonding with the girl that scribbles

She who does not believe in any ties

The girl who keeps getting punished

As she often break the shackles,she flies

Laugh with the girl that scribbles

She's cried enough under the rain. 

She can make you smile,but her giggles are lost

Tell her that she can laugh again

There is this girl who scribbles

She who I see in my reflection

She who is stark opposite to me

Me the fake she the perfection

She is the emotion, I am the cold

I am the laugher, she is the cry

I am the hidden, she is the confession

I am pretentious glee, she an honest sigh

I avoided this girl that writes ,for long

Now there she lays, all pale and feeble

Still calling out my name in lithe whispers

This little girl in me that scribbles....

He Said.. She Said

He said open your eyes, nothing's gonna change...

She said when emotions are true; change is out of range..

He said why should we choose to get hurt again and again..

She said, getting hurt is akin to being alive, relations are dead if you feel no pain..

He said how could you still smile and greet memories, so disdain..

She said no matter how black the patch is, my memories stay porcelain..

He said damage is done there's no scope of rectification..

She said, all happens for good, failures leads me to perfection..

He said why don't you learn from mistakes and get practical...

She said, I can't see any mistake, I follow my heart, and my heart is amicable..

He said reaching out is insanity when you yourself is down with bruises..

She said no its sane as indulgence helps me forget; it gives me excuses...

He said be a bit blunt else people might use you, take you for granted...

She said let them, they are doing what they want and I'm doing what I always wanted...

He said my perception differs, my side!! You will never ever understand...

She said, yes I might not be understanding, but i still have a reaching out hand...

He said so you feel nothing, no anger, no pain, no remorse, no rage...

She said who says I feel nothing, But what's the fun keeping injured bird in the cage..

He said so you will keep on being what you are, you won't tame...

She said I'm proud of what I am; I’ll choose to stay the same...

He said but this nature made you suffer, still you'll choose to be?

She said yes coz this very nature earned me a friend like you, so I'll still choose to be me..

He smiled so you choose to sideline errors and forgive the mistakes...

She smiled no but I choose to forget darkness, I’ll do all that it takes..

He murmured I really don’t understand what's going on...

She whispered, there are few zones, when we are beyond right and wrong...

He concluded, no matter how right you seem to be, but I know even my side is true..

She concluded, so lets both be what we want to be.. Let me be me! and you be you!!

His Visage and her beauty....

Eyes, she borrowed dreams from

Eyes, she envisioned herself through

His eyes, her epitome of innocence

His eyes, chaste like morning dew

All felt so right, felt like eternity

His visage, graced her with beauty

She conjured his care in a small space;

Space that beamed with his compassion

A little space hidden in folds of her heart

That little space brimming with perfection

All felt so right, felt like eternity

His visage, graced her with beauty

His Smile, radiant like morning rose

That Smile, like dreams on prance

His smile, like a child’s innocent prank

That Smile, like her reverie on dance

All felt so perfect, felt like eternity

His visage, graced her with beauty

His Words, a stairwell to heaven
His words, like comforting rain

Words, an anchor to her sinking soul

 Words,like soothing ice to burning pain

All felt so right, felt like eternity

His visage, graced her with beauty

His visage, way beyond expressions

Visage, radiance of breaking dawn

His visage, tranquility of first rain

Visage, an elegance of dancing swan

She protected this visage in her bounty

All felt so right,all felt like eternity

A little space in some hidden corner

He resides there painting her dreams

Oh! His visage, that exotic spell on eyes!!
An aura on display,touching all extremes
This raving crazy insanity
Feels so right,feels like eternity

Seasons changed, time took a leap

Sorrows and smiles, more than they could reap

But, still his visage shines through her entity

Yea! still Feel so right, feels like eternity

His visage definitely graces her with beauty

Just A Story....

Horror gripped the heart of that boy as he saw his lifelong best friend fall during the riots. His friend was caught in claws of this carnival of violence, with continuous gunfires and screams hurling from all directions . There was an utter chaos whizzing over boy's head and ballade of death in front of eyes . But the boy stood, stood unfazed with just a single thought lurking in his head, what if he leap in and make his way through? He might, he just might bring his fallen friend back.

He was holding his brother's hand ,shaking and shivering with anticipation. All sweaty with threat of what might happen. “You want to go?,” asked his brother, “but i don’t think it will be worth it. Your friend is probably dead and you may throw your life away.”  The brother’s advice didn’t matter, and the boy went and jumped into the death pool anyway. Miraculously he managed to reach his friend, hoist her onto his shoulder and bring her back to the safe corner of that disturbed city. As the two of them tumbled in together on the rough patch near the lamp post, the brother peeped in to check the now wounded and bleeding boy, and then looked kindly at his friend.

“I told you it wouldn’t be worth it,” he said. “Your friend is dead and you are mortally wounded.”

“It was worth it, though, my dear!,” said the boy.

“What do you mean; worth it?” retorted his brother. “Your friend is dead.”

“Yes, She is” the boy whimpered in pain. “But it was worth it because when I got to her, she was still alive and I had the satisfaction of hearing her say through her last breath, “I knew you’d come. I just knew”

Just a thought.....

Sometimes all you can give is an unconditional love 

Sometimes all you have is just not enough

Sometimes life is like an extended dream 

Sometimes dreams aren’t what they seem

Sometimes giggles can ease your heart

Sometimes the same giggle breaks it apart

Sometimes thoughts spin faster than you move

Sometimes even fastest spin is the slowest groove

Sometimes solace is the only word on mind

Sometimes solace is the only space you can’t find

Sometimes you give in to queries that each pang implies 

Sometimes same pain turns you nonchalant to replies

Sometimes flights of dreams is a soothing respite

Sometimes same dreams poses the biggest fright

Sometimes togetherness has all the delights in store

Sometimes solitude is all that you crave for

Sometimes night gets too dazzling to withstand

Sometimes even dawn can withdraw her hand

Sometimes you just surrender to convictions

Sometimes conviction goes through incisions

Sometimes story in your head is beyond eviction

Sometimes reality you lived in,turns out to be a fiction

Sometimes you live and relive few memories to satiety

Sometimes you sleep endless hours to ward off memories

Sometimes I think am I the person what you see?

Or is it just the reflect of what you want me to be....

Sometimes I painfully conceal,those emotions so white so true

Sometimes I proudly pretend coz I am what you made me ,I am you......

How are you?

When people ask us how we're doing, we say fine. That’s spontaneous, That’s OK most of the time, but sometimes, it's a good idea to take a good look in the person’s eye. Sometimes it’s a good idea to dive into those eyes, those raging wild tides, those concealed raging emotions and explore. Sometimes its OK to open up and say “No I am not OK, I can do better, if you hold me and let me be. Listen to me I need you to shout at me fight dear fight we are there for you, we are your friends”

I've got a question for you: How are you doing? Sure, of course you're fine. Here's a follow up: How do you know you're doing fine? Tougher question, huh? Have you been smiling enough? Are you yourself or just an identity created by world? What’s the last thought in your mind when you are off to sleep? Do you often wake up with a smile?

When people ask us how we're doing, we respond automatically. I'm fine, we're fine, everything's fine. After all, if we engaged everyone in a rant about the gory truth, about those ripping seems, about that bleeding heart, wont they just turn their back and walk away? Or may be they might make a sorry picture of ours or worst enough they might make fun of us behind our back? So please! We are fine. So fine!!

Why open a can of worms? Don't fix it if it isn't broken. Most of the time, those sayings are all well and good. But sometimes, especially when things aren't going so well, it's actually a nice idea to be honest and scream, “No we are not fine. And what are you doing there? Don’t you know its your right to invade my privacy, and rip me off my secrets?” So here I am. A friend.. asking you “How are you?” I am here, confide in me, trust this word” friendship” it’s a clan of angels provided to us , it’s a gift. Cherish it and make the most of it.. reach out!! Hold on!! I am here!!

I wont say I am your friend forever .Forever is a very long time. How is it that people can talk so casually about a concept that don’t even exist? we cannot even wrap our minds around this thought. Nothing stays forever. I might move out. You might forget me. I might dismiss you. Time and their rough tides,who can sustain them? Can we really comprehend situations levied on us? Can we really predict our future? Anything might happen? But sometimes we have a friend and we sense that our souls are very closely connected. We know that the connection is above time and space. We know that wherever we are in our lives we will always remain friends. Even if we do not see each other for years we are able to pick up right where we left off. This is what people mean when they say friends forever. So tell me “ how are you?”

They say a good bond is one that provides you anchor when time hits rough tide... They say a good pact is one that stretch out hand and hold you when you stagger on the walks of life... They say a fine treaty is the one where even before you speak your pain is heard. But I say a fine bonding is the one that casts you into something that you want to be, a burning, raging, confident person, sets you ablaze, makes you burn through the skies and ignite the night like a phoenix; the kind that cuts you loose like a wildfire and you can't stop running you run and you run until you are out of breath, exhausted but far far way from your woes, I say that's a good bond, one that burns yet sooths…

So lets start this exercise in a more honest way. “How are you?”

I Think about that the next time somebody asks you how you're doing.

My dreams my facts....

Drawn to one another by an urgency that cant be denied

My dreams, my facts

Two stars fighting , struggling breathless, entangled and tied

My dreams , my facts

Encasing my mirage, in the mystic galaxies of infinite imagination

My dreams my facts

Embracing two spirits in parallel universe of illusion and actualization

My dreams my facts

Mind numbing noise yet a choking silence engulfing my inside

My dreams my facts

Touch intangible, yet felt with such compassion that cant be defined

My dreams my facts

Existence of nonexistence, flashing visuals wandering in lanes of mind

My dreams my facts

Words unheard, yet every thought considerate enough to suffice

My dreams my facts

Living each fantasy, as I lay my head, and wiping it off as I rise

My dreams my facts

Lets drift away

Hold my hand and take me away

To that paradise, unseen but fantasized

Take me to that enchanted world

Where all the broken hopes are improvised

Take me to the place, where you will understand

Understand my tryst with unspoken words

I will paint my dreams in invisible colors;

and we will chase that rainbow like little birds

Take me to the place unknown to others

A place where we will stay oblivion to world

A place where we can hide from intriguing eyes

A place where my desires will get unfurled

Hold me and take me away from myself

And peel off my despairs from layer to layer

Let me just close my eyes and feel it

Shouldn’t be a need for you to say; that you care

Lets drift off to the land far far away

Deep green forest, lapping blue sea

I wont exhibit my crushing thoughts;

But you will feel and you shall see

Come take me away to a place unseen

Away from questions, away from justifications

Just healing words, just gentle touch

Only basking in the moment, no lamentations…..

Wanton passion of innocent hearts...

What thoughts of wanton passion

What enigma that we fought for

What stigma we are stuck with

What fantasies we keep in store?

Like a fish I asked my sea

I am in you! so close!

 Still you can’t see my tear?

And prompt was the reply

I can’t see but can feel them

Coz you are in me, so near…

What thoughts of wanton passion

What dependence on invincible

What craving for cult beyond reach

What sinful addiction, so irresistible

Like a black shade I asked my rainbow

You derive your colors from me

Still you can’t pull me out of darkness?

And prompt was the reply

I can’t pull you out, but I do sink with you

I am in you; eventually I fade in your caress

What thoughts of wanton passion

What stir of raw unspoken trust

What mystery of felt yet unfelt care

What flight of  a chained heart fest

Like a dusk I asked my dawn

I dissolve into nothing just to touch you

Still you embrace the mornings?

And prompt was the reply

I can’t stay with you, but I loose myself too

Just to see you emerge again

I surrender my worth to dark evenings…..

What wanton passion

What unrealistic desire

We have all, so you say!!

......Still the needs are dire.......

Keep your dreams alive!!!!!

 Please don’t give up on me!

I know I am not feasible right now

Don’t push me aside

I know I am rarely around right now

Don’t forget my voice

If you don’t get to hear me at times

Don’t forget that chuckle

If I cant get your smile free at times

Don’t let my image fade

Its just a broken frame as of now

Picture is blurred I know,

But I am trying to tame ,as of now

Greet me with a smile

Even though I might not smile tonight

Just keep that fist tight

Event though you might feel weak tonight

Keep talking with me

And I might respond with a silence

Keep intruding persistently

And my resistance might be immense

Keep treading with a smile

Though the journey gonna be strife

But you need to hold on to me
Dont give up on me yet, my need is rife

 Dreams,aspirations or undying urget to prove thyself

Tag me with whatever name you think suffice
But just keep me alive, let your wings soar high
Dont give up on me yet!!
I am the guiding light , that shines through your life

............... 

I have me.......

I saw you shudder last night

A hapless scream of disdain

But hey! I am not far from you

I am walking the same lane

No! Don’t search for me in dark

As I am a few steps behind

Gathering your spilled dreams

Collecting them, for you to find

I am , tracing your steps

Not far, just little beyond

Past time, past distance,

Far past any kind of earthly bond

When you feel you miss me the most

When you feel, world is turning against

Each reminiscent of past will be the proof

I was there with you, always, unfenced

So don’t stagger keep walking

Don’t let your dreams fade

A shade of dark, a glow of light

Sun and moon will continue this trade

But I will be the bridge for you

I will connect the dusk to dawn

Take comfort from my existence

I am there to seize your moan

I will infuse different glow to night

I will paint a different shade to light

Each memory will add that spark

And will gear you up for the fight

You thought I left you far too soon?

Think again, I never left you alone

I am you, your inner fire

Always  been there with you

Since the day you were born

So don’t give up,

Keep that fire alive in your heart

And with warmth of each memory

You shall know, we were never apart

......................

And she smiles

Life paints you a rainbow

Diffused colors of various emotions

Plethora of tints and shades

She looks at you and smiles

And she screams “its easy”

Life looks you in the eye

You might see a frown..

Her eyes may seem to argue

Her face screams agony

But she wears that smile

And she screams “its easy”

Life sketch out a maze

She gives you that sorted out look

She shows that every thing feels so right

She display that sense to figure out

How are you to know that she’s so confused?

She doesn’t know her way through

She herself doesn’t know what she planed for you

But when it gets too hard for her to disguise

She just flashes that smile

And screams” its easy”

Life gives you a dream

Unleash your desires

Makes you believe in illusions

Gives you reason to aspire

But her own eyes glitter with emptiness

Her own desires are captive to nightmare

Her own illusions are vary of colors

So when her own vibrancy starts giving up

She wears that cloak of courage

And she smiles

And she screams” its easy”

Sleep tonight

Sleep tonight my angel, just sleep and wither away

Let the silence wriggle in and let the illusions go astray

Tonight lids will stay calm,lashes will go in warm embrace

I am here, taking care, you let your dreams unleash and play

Just sleep tonight my angel ,on the wings of desires fly away…

Continuous traffic of memories will rip off your sleep

  Those march of thoughts, they will invite nightmares

Stop mulling over, just lye and breath life in your fairytale

This is the enigmatic world that we both will share

Sleep tonight my angel and leave the rest to me,I will take care..

Lay warm in the arms of your desires, and I will keep an eye

Let your heart design a chaste enigma and weave it into a dream

I will find a place in that oasis and will act my part to soothe you

Hopeless noises, will have to disappear, I will wipe off those screams

Just sleep in bliss tonight my angel, on the thread of tranquil beams..

Your yearnings will find their rescue in dreams tonight

And if they don’t, still its all fine, we are done hankering anyways

Confusion, sadness, desperations, they have no place tonight

So ward them off tonight my angel, just smile and dream away

Sleep tonight angel, and live all your dream before the crack of the day….
Sleep tonight my angel,this is our fairyland, and we are here to stay...

Those unspoken words

They pierced my spirit and left a gaping hole

And at times they revived my sinking soul

They hurt, they tease and they conspire

And sometimes they ignite my dying fire

Those unspoken words ….

They chase me like a shadow on all walks of life

Yet they leave me in seclusion when their need is rife

They follow they echo , they set my silence free

And then they turn their back, and seize talking with me

Those unspoken words …..

I can never understand, how they ease my pain away

And I am confused, how they hurt me in every possible way

They have that key to let me free from shackles of isolation

And then they lock me up with my relentless frustration

Those unspoken words ……

They speak to me, stir my being, and bring me to life

But they dissolve in void  when their need is strife

Words, they fester in my heart, they are here to stay

Yet same words, they just don’t reach me,they choose to stay away

Those unspoken words …..

Sometimes

Some times I hanker for the explanations...

Do these desires ignite the light of life?

Or are they just worthless fossils

Do they set ablaze that zest to live?

Or are they venom meant to kill...

Some times I stare at void and muse over....

Am I the person you consider me to be?

Or am I just a daft dwelling on misconceptions

Would I still fix in the frame you set for me?

Or will I fade into nonentity and exemptions

Some times I like to mull over...

Am I growing oblivion to life’s brazen facts

Or have I grown too accustom to dearth

Am I emerging as a salient warrior?

Or have I forgotten the winner’s worth

Some times I sit and wonder...

To take another breath and survive

Is a sentence to death every day?

Or evolving as a survivor every morn

Seals the fact, incompetence is here to stay

Some times I just sit and ponder....

Could I be a breeze and just float away?

Or would I have strength to hold on

Could I just waft into the state of oblivion?

Or would I be aware enough to move on

Some times I just hold my head and think...

Can I still feel that burning rage in my heart

Or have I extinguished that fire in my mind

Does it really pain half as much as I feel?
Or have I left strength to bear, far behind